For New Dad, Christmas is Magic Again

In the many years Bixie and I have been together we’ve never had much of a Christmas tree. Our families live in Boston, were we always spend the holidays, so hanging up a fat tree in San Francisco or Sausalito (where we now live) seemed sort of disingenuous, in the same way that rooting for the San Francisco Giants seems silly when you’re a lifelong Red Sox fan.

This year that changed (the tree, not the sports). We’re still going back east for a stretch, but that didn’t stop us from putting up a tree in Sausalito. See, it’s our first Christmas with our new baby. Not having a glittery tree during the month of December now seemed selfish and perhaps even psychologically irresponsible.

No bright lights for the baby to gaze at? No ornaments to bobble in his sticky hands?

So for the past week Bixie, Gus and I have given our television lots of time off. Instead, we’ve been playing Christmas carols in the evenings as we hang out together as a family, with Gus smiling and cooing in his swinging chair in the glow of the holiday lights. Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

I find myself looking back and forth at my wife (who is typically solving a crossword puzzle) and my son (who is typically blowing spit bubbles) and thinking this really might be the meaning of life, or perhaps its purpose. That if you could bottle up the coziness of this moment and share it widely the world could enjoy a protracted period of peace and harmony.

And right when I’m thinking about this Gus typically craps his pants, which is a handy reminder that a world filled only with joy isn’t one worth experiencing, since it’s only through adversity that you can truly appreciate the good times – like when Gus isn’t crapping his pants.

All of this is a meandering way of saying the following: Christmas feels truly special to me again, because I’m once again seeing it through the lens of a child. It’s true that Gus won’t really understand the hoopla this year, but nonetheless, as a new father I’m getting caught up in the magic.

Because this year I have the most amazing present anyone could ask for sitting under the tree in Sausalito. And his eyes are bright with wonder.