Daddy blogger’s Wife: “Advice for My Sister — the New Mom”

The following was penned by my lovely bride, Bixie:

When I first wrote about Gus going to day care it was BEFORE he went. I was jumbled with feelings of super sadness and guilt; I tried to think of every way I could somehow NOT leave Gus. But I did it. And I survived.

I’m being reminded of what a sad process it was now that my sister Ali is getting ready to head back to work after having Miss Evie Sugar on January 1st. She is sad, of course, and even though I try to comfort her I know there is nothing that I can really say from making her feel sad, or even guilty. It’s just one of those crazy processes that some mothers have to go through, I guess. While I know I can’t make things better for her – I can share a few things that I wish I’d known when I was going through it.

Quality time ROCKS

It is a major adjustment going from spending every waking moment with your babe to getting back into the swing of a work schedule. It’s quite obvious that you don’t get the same amount of time with your babe when you go to work. But there is a lot to be said for the quality time you can squeeze in before and after work. We call our night time ritual with Gus Happy Hour because all he does is squeal and giggle and roll around like a happy little munchkin. I like to think he’s as happy to be with us as we are to be with him. It’s the best possible way to end the day and I never imagined his bedtime ritual could be so much fun or fulfilling. Sounds dorky – but it’s SO true. Whenever I’m feeling bad about not being with Gus during the day – I think about how lucky we all are that we have that time together. Makes it all a-okay.

He’ll make “friends”

While it’s true that I would have FAR preferred to stay home with Gus at the time (and I’m sure he wished the same, right?), it quickly became clear that he liked going into the baby room at day care where a bunch of other similarly sized humans were. There were a lot of staring contests in the early days but stories from his teachers reinforced that he really was socializing. The earliest story was how Gus was “holding hands” with one of the little girls in the room while they laid under the gym mini (with pictures to prove it!). Most recently, Gus started eating lunch so he gets to sit with the other kids at the table. One of his teachers told me that at the beginning of the meal Gus sits at the table and kicks his legs wildly while looking around and just smiling at all the other kids. He’s excited to eat lunch with his friends. Something about that just melts my heart.

Teachers are teachers for a reason

Now, my sister should know this more than anyone, because she is a kindergarten teacher. But, for some reason, I kind of forgot that I wasn’t going to be leaving Gus with just a random sampling of people. I was leaving him with people who choose to be with kids every day because they love them. They all have their own very distinct personalities but I have no doubt that each teacher in that room really loves Gus. And nothing makes me happier.

If anyone else has gone through this and something to share with Ali, I’d appreciate it. She’ll still be sad but it might help her see that it DOES get better.