I’m a dad now. Oh yeah!

June 25th, 2009

I’m a dad now. Oh yeah!

After an epic battle of minds and wills, my lovely bride Bixie delivered into the world – in the wee hours of Wednesday a.m. – a little squirmy boy named Gus.

Gus Andon Headrick.

He weighs in at a svelte six pounds, fourteen ounces (for those of you wagering in SHIFT Communications’ office pool). Gus is 20 inches long and approximately 100 times cuter than I imagined he’d be.

The first name has no real significance – we just thought it was cute and fun for a little boy and, later, strong and confident-sounding as a man. The middle name Andon is a nod to my stepfather Neal (his middle name), who loves my mother unwaveringly and is a pillar of strength & wisdom for our family. ‘Nuff said.

Okay, so, how did it go?

What started as strong contractions on Saturday evening ended a harrowing 60+ hours later, with a jumble of wires and tubes and moans and fluids and beeping sounds and clenched teeth spanning the impossibly tense divide.

I’ve never seen a woman so courageous in the face of agony, and I’ll never look at my lovely bride the same way again. My sweet Bixie. I always knew she was tough, but what I witnessed elevates her to Full Warrior Status. Seriously, how did she get through it?

That she’s smiling this morning seems a miracle, but there she was, with a pink little baby named Gus cradled in her arms, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with her own.

She’s so gorgeous and a little different now. Wiser. Complete.

I’ve read lots of commentary from daddy bloggers and mommy bloggers about what it feels like to see your first child in the flesh. But I guess nothing can prepare you for the flood of love you feel when your first baby actually looks into your eyes – in a moment of clarity – cataloguing your facial features and matching it with the voice he’s heard talking to him in the womb for so many months. It’s primitive yet … almost computational.

A baby that knows nothing, in that moment, seems to know everything about your character:

Baby: “I was sent here to be loved by you. Are you worthy?”

Dad: “I am. I swear it.”

As I write this post Bixie is taking a hard-earned nap. Little Gus is breaking hearts in the nursery – “He’s a big hit in here,” according one nurse – and I’m enjoying a quiet moment alone in the waiting room to pause and reflect.

And what I’m thinking about is this: we’ll never be the same, because we’re a family now. And with the exception of the night I exchanged wedding rings with my lovely bride, I’ve never known this sort of happiness. The word I keep hearing in my head is “finally.”

Looking out the window at the hospital, the fog is settling over the hills of San Francisco. A giant builder’s crane reaches toward the sky like an outstretched arm and then slowly fades away.

Time for dad to take a nap. My family has a busy week ahead.