My wife’s bad hair day: “A Mom Haircut”
Bixie wasn’t happy with her new haircut. At all. Here’s what happened, in her words:
There are two words that no woman ever wants to hear. Two words that can cut any woman’s self-esteem to the quick. Two words that make a woman panic.
Mom Haircut
I fancy myself to be a pretty stylish person who, thanks to my cheeks, often looks younger than my 37 years. I occasionally get carded for liquor and, I’d estimate, 2 out of 5 times it’s not just a ploy from the waiter or bartender to stroke my ego and get a bigger tip. So, imagine my horror when I walked into a local salon feeling like a young-ish hip-ish girl and walked out feeling like a frumpy, old mom who “fancies” herself as being hip but really looks like she took a butter knife to her hair and then poofed it out for a ladies lunch.
I’ve always been pretty lax about my hair – I mean, it grows back, right? But, for whatever reason, this time – when I left the chair – I was riddled with anxiety and fear. Did I really just let a veritable stranger cut six inches off my hair? Did I really say “whatever you think would look best” to a person who I only know through Yelp reviews and a few fly-by-night colleague endorsements? Did I really say “Sure, I’m up for something new?” when really I wanted to keep my hair long and bangs non-existent? Did I stutter when I said “As long as it’s not a mom haircut?”
I realize this is petty and tops the list of first world problems but, for some reason, this haircut almost put me over the edge. When I walked in last night and Gus said “you still have a little hair that looks good” tears actually welled up in my eyes. Parry’s reassurance that the haircut was not, in fact, “mom-ish” was met with responses like “you have to say that” as a pit formed in my stomach.
Why was I taking this so hard? Why was I letting a haircut dictate my feelings and self-esteem? I think it has to do with the fact that, as a mom, it’s the little things that you look forward to doing for yourself that can get you through the day sometimes. The 45 minute bouts of pampering in the form of mani/pedis, a Zumba class, shopping excursions and, typically haircuts –that simply make you feel a little better and remind you that you’re really just a girl – who happens to be a mom. When one of those pampering events goes wrong, I’ll admit, I’m slightly irrational wondering why I ever bothered in the first place.
The good news is, after washing and blow drying my hair myself, I realize I was simply a victim of a Mom Styling and I was able to leave the house looking and feeling a little more like me. I’m guessing that 50% of that is attributed to the fact that my hair looks better and 50% is that I’m not as irrational as I was yesterday.
I can’t imagine I’m alone here. Anyone else have irrational fears of letting “Mom-ness” define you in the wrong ways?
Yikes – that picture AND face are b.a.d.
I think you look very cute and very stylish-I do love your article though-I know what you mean-you made it look adorable You are still beautiful
Mandy, I can so relate with this and had this happen to me a week before Paul’s first birthday and baptism. I was so distraught and felt like the hair cut off and my very layered look was a symbol of my youth/carefree days gone away. 7 years later, I have the longest hair I have ever had in my life and have had more fun as a Mom than I did in the previous 7 years as a non-mom!
Oh and I meant to say I really love your cut though…you look beautiful! My cut was so wrong for so many reasons… I was trying to relate to you on the feelings front…
My great fear every time I go to the salon is that I’ll walk out with what Billy calls “I give up hair”. I had my hair colored a couple of months ago and she made it way darker than I was used to and I literally started whining right then and there “it’s not the color I like, it makes me look too old, how soon can we reschedule so you can make me lighter”. I was pathetic. As time has gone on I’ve come to really like my slightly darker locks – that said I’m going in next week and she better make me blonder!
I love the second picture – it looks very stylish! I always think when I get “stylie” hair cuts that they grow out really great – so you have that to look forward too!
Mand-It looks great! I agree, when you leave the salon, any haircut requires a self-styling..they don’t know your lifestyle and therefore, do not know the products that are your go-to ones! And yes, everyone is afraid of being “mommed.” No offense to our moms, as of course, they are the style mavens..but seriously, you know the show pimp-my-ride? I’ve always said, “my ride’s been mommed!”…I hear ya, sister. Keep on keepin’ on…we still have our cool factor. Grin. Don’t let your ride be “mommed”…haha
Mand-It looks great! I agree, when you leave the salon, any haircut requires a self-styling..they don’t know your lifestyle. They do not know the products that are your go-to ones! And yes, everyone is afraid of being “mommed.” No offense to our moms, as of course, they are the style mavens..but seriously, you know the show pimp-my-ride? I’ve always said, “my ride’s been mommed!”…I hear ya, sister. Keep on keepin’ on…we still have our cool factor. Grin. Don’t let your ride be “mommed”…haha
Mandy, you look beautiful! Your before picture looked like Ozzie
I will say you hair did look better after you styled it yourself. miss you!
“You’re really just a girl – who happens to be a Mom.” Love that. Most of the time, I feel like I’m five years old and think to myself…I am in charge of two little people. Okay, maybe older than five…but, I feel young and sometimes I look like a teeny-bopper? I think to myself… JOSH AND I are the ones who need to make sure that our girls are happy, healthy, safe, warm, cozy, etc. SO crazy – considering I feel like I just left college? If it helps you any, Mand. YOU are way crazy and don’t act like a ‘mom-jeans’ or ‘mom haircut’ kind of girl. You are more the spastic Mom who likes to dance around the kitchen, tell funny stories, chase your kiddos around the yard like a wild monkey, and even maybe let them know that everything they do isn’t ALWAYS great. HA! Think about Mom when she was our age. Hip & cute. Finally, your styling is way better than the dudes at the salon.
Mandy,
My great fear every time I go to the salon is that I’ll walk out with what Billy calls “I give up hair”. I had my hair colored a couple of months ago and she made it way darker than I was used to and I literally started whining right then and there “it’s not the color I like, it makes me look too old, how soon can we reschedule so you can make me lighter”. I was pathetic. As time has gone on I’ve come to really like my slightly darker locks – that said I’m going in next week and she better make me blonder!
I love the second picture – it looks very stylish! I always think when I get “stylie” hair cuts that they grow out really great – so you have that to look forward too!
Mando, You will always be my little girl.
Thanks everyone! I knew I wasn’t alone…and I am happy to hear I’m not the only irrational one out there
xo
I fear house coats. But a good apron is worth it’s weight in gold. I also fear mom jeans but fear my butt hanging out more. I fear mom haircuts but I’m militant in my descriptions to hairstylest. That being said. I might have a mom haircut, my jeans might be momish, i am a mom I’ve accepted the reality! But I’m still cute and so are you!!!
Hee…thanks lady!